I wonder....

I watched "Religious" by Michael Moore the other night and it truly got me doubting after years of considering myself a Christian. So today I put my IPOD on and began to clean. One of the songs from an LDS CD I purchased years ago because I love the song, "His Hands" that is on the recording. I have often listened to this song when I have gone through challenging times & my faith in Christ always is strengthened when I listen to the song. When I listen to the song I feel empathy for Christ. I can feel his burdens as if they are my own.

So when one of the songs from the album came on my IPOD this morning I listened for a few seconds and moved onto another song. I was doubting the whole notion of Christ at the moment. So I continued cleaning while listening contently to music from my IPOD....set to shuffle.

Then I started to clean the bathrooom and the thought came to my mind, "I am wondering about this whole Christ thing. Am I a fool for believing?". I continued cleaning and then randomly while scrubbing the bathtub I found myself looking in a drawer, without purpose. I don't know why I looked in the drawer. I was cleaning the bathtub and then I find myself randomly opening a drawer. I see a package of needles. I thought to myself, "why do I have needles in the bathroom?" Then I figured I must of placed them there awhile ago to be used to for my mascara and to help separate my eyelashes. Satisfied with this explanation I opened the drawer further and I see the glistening gold from my Nana's cross necklace. I pull the necklace out and wonder to myself, "is this a sign that Christ exists?" or is it a mere coincidence that on this day that I find myself doubtful I randomly opened a drawer and found a gold cross from my decesased Nana. The necklace lied there all this time without me ever opening the drawer let alone noticing the necklace but of all days, today I found myself questioning and doubting and then the necklace appeared. Is it a sign or is it a mere coincidence? And is the needle of any signficance? In the Bible it says, "Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. I wonder, "is the needle a sign or coincidence, as well?". And what is the signficance, if any? I am not rich by any means. Still on unemployment and have a job interview Monday. Christians would tell me these are all good signs....within an hour of finding the necklace I got a call from job opportunity, Full-time, with benefits. Exactly what my longterm goal is to attain. So even if this job doesn't pan out, does that invalidate all these signs or wait, are they coincidences...I forget which I believe. I wonder.